you guys seriously write the most damn amazing poems!!! Holy shit! You inspire me so much!!!
My parents thought that age was like growth lines on children’s door frames,
And they would peek in neighbors’ nurseries
To see if they’d etched the same;
But youth was like a flower,
And I never grew like the garden
Because my thoughts were whacked like weeds.
My thoughts are one-lined repeats on the back of store receipts—
Scattered scribblings and no remembering—
And I don’t know who I am.
I daydream of gunmen and scientists and a girl made of glass:
"She is fragile", "needs more happy", feel of bullet hitting back.
There are those who romanticize loving people like me—
Who think their kisses can cement the cracks in dammed skin
To keep the reservoir inside.
But my psychosis is an ocean,
And it cannot be contained by their plastered lips.
They will drown, they will drown.
I love so much I forget to breathe,
And I think that if I should ever fall in love
That it will be with a girl on the other side of my hospital curtain—
Our oxygen masks attached to the same machine—
And she will be mental, too.
I think dying will be like falling asleep with open windows on an autumn night,
Its touch in the comfort of my duvet,
And I will be warm.
I will be warm.